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After a long and taxing year of carrying the weapons bag to sessions twice a week, it’s time for me to fill the stereotype of maths students crunching numbers on a spreadsheet! That’s right, everybody’s favourite short Asian purple belt is hoping to be your next Treasurer. With my excellent yet totally-unnecessary-for-the-job maths skills I can manage the club’s finances to make sure we have the funds to give you the best experience you could ask for at the club!

That means more money for socials, equipment (because let’s face it, nobody likes using those rubber knives, they have a shelf life of about 2 days) and more funding for transport when needed. And who knows, maybe with a bit of luck we can even haggle some more money from the Gryphon Fund (no promises though, I’m not magic). Plus, being a purple belt means I’m legally allowed to throw anybody who doesn’t pay for their session fees. Who else could be more suitable?
I hope my statement has convinced you why I’m your best bet for the role, and hopefully it was better than my statement last year (we don’t talk about that).

Disclaimer: it is a democracy here at LUU Jiu-Jitsu Club, but if my fellow candidates suddenly disappear under mysterious circumstances then for legal purposes, I know nothing of the matter.